Exposed
Several weeks ago I announced that I had accepted the proposal from Van Gogh Art Gallery in Madrid Spain, to represent me at the International Contemporary Art Fair in Paris France this winter….and what an incredibly journey it has been so far.
We initially hit a few hurdles. All of the portraits I’ve created are already contracted to the Duluth Art Institute and are unavailable for this exhibition, and my new work isn’t ready and should be initially viewed as a collection. In addition, I can’t let any of them sell right now because I’m a storyteller and each portrait is vital to the story. So... I had agreed to pause my current project and produce 3 new portraits just for this exhibition. It was a big ask of me...but I’m grateful they want my work even though it hasn’t been created yet. That’s a huge leap of faith. I’m very excited. It was a daunting project. I don’t like quick deadlines....but I said yes.
The three portraits I created for the project ended up being a mini collection of reflections about the Female Body. The first portrait I created was a portrait of my nine year old daughter. the second was a self portrait, and the final portrait is of my mother. I’m incredibly grateful not only for this opportunity to share my work, but this mini collection has come to mean an awful lot to me, and it wouldn’t even exist without the proposal made by the Van Gogh Gallery and their belief in my work as an artist.
The Female Body mini collection 2020
When I reflected on the female body through the depiction of three generations, I saw a lot of darkness but I also have a lot of hope. Each portrait is accompanied by an essay which I encourage you to read by clicking on the link below, but here are the cliff notes….When I though of my daughter’s body, my initial thoughts quickly turned from delight and wonder to darkness and danger, because I know how prevalent sexual abuse is, and because I know that Native American woman and girls are at greater risk of sexual and physical violence than other sectors of the population. I am nervous for the future of my daughters body and the experiences of dehumanization she will undoubtably experience at some point on her journey. I created a short 2 minute video for this piece which unveils my process as I create and my thoughts as I was working on this piece. This video has become an art piece in itself. It’s had a powerful impact, and I am incredibly proud of how it turned out. The second portrait took me on a journey through thoughts and revelations about my own body and my relationship to it. It’s about the struggles I’ve had accepting my body as it is and ultimately finding peace with it and learning to celebrate it. The final portrait in the collection is of my mother. This portrait developed into a conversation about my relationship to my mother’s body and about the messaging we receive about aging as a woman in today’s society.
As my process creating has evolved, I’ve tended to move away from traditional shapes like squares and rectangles for the overall shape of each of my portraits, but for what ever reason, this collection felt like they wanted to be confined in a box. I fought against it intellectually because moving beyond the box was one of the things that really excited me about my work. But with this collection, the box “felt” right and so I caved to it. When I created the portrait of my daughter, her little foot just wanted to cross the line, it wanted to be exposed, which is how I decided to leave it. My self portrait came next and I couldn’t see the feet. I went back and forth intellectually about whether the feet were necessary. My work is inspired by visions. So I try not to stray too far from what I “see” in my mind. I didn’t see feet. Then I created the portrait of my mother and again, her foot wanted to cross the line. It had me asking myself why. I thought maybe the reason I didn’t see feet in my portrait was because it’s the only part of my body that I’ve never been critical of, so I saw them faded into the background. But I soon realized that each portrait was a narrative about the conflict our female bodies face in society. These narratives have become so ingrained…. “If a woman was assaulted what was she wearing or doing….the rigid ideals of what a sexy body looks like…..aging isn’t beautiful or celebratory and should be thwarted at all costs”….these narratives dominate the conversations and these perceptions about our bodies have remained, mostly unchallenged by the majority of societal opinion. The portraits of my daughter and my mother where literally stepping outside of this box, and yet my self portrait did not have feet.
It forced me to take a closer look at myself. How honest was my truth? Have I really made peace or was that just wishful thinking. Am I still struggling? I think that the answer is that self love is not a destination. It’s a journey that I will always be on. I still have work to do to challenge the negative narratives about women’s bodies, about my own body. But I’ve reworked my self portrait. I am committed to stepping outside of the box.
From Bemidji, Minnesota to …Venice, Italy
Wow this has been a tremendous whirlwind for me. Five of my eleven portraits have just been accepted for exhibition at the Venice International Art Fair in Venice, Italy.
I am from rural Minnesota and I am a newly emerging textile artist. Less than a year ago I wouldn’t have even called myself an artist. I didn’t have the confidence to own that title. I didn’t claim the right to use the word artist until I received an Individual Artist grant from the Region 2 Arts Council in my home town of Bemidji Minnesota last spring (2019). The grant was used to purchase a new sewing machine because the cheap one I was using kept malfunctioning…and I had a project that I was inspired to work on, a series of portraits of my children made out of fabric and thread. Though that was the beginning for me…the first time I called myself an artist, my process creating began well before that. My children’s participation in a particular Native American ceremony required me to make blankets as a part of their offering. So I had to learn to sew, and being a creative person, I couldn’t just do squares. Instead I created blankets that were very pictorial and each blanket represented an Ojibwe name given to my child at birth. As these blankets were made as a spiritual offering, the process was very spiritual for me. Because it was the only way I could contribute as a non-native woman, I poured everything I had into those offerings. I taught myself this art form and now I cannot seem to let this love affair with fabric go. Even still, though my work is no longer ceremonial, it’s very spiritual for me. An image comes to me first. The images are like visions that nag at me, much like a dream you've had that you can’t stop thinking about. I feel inspiration channeling through me faster than my fingers can move. When the piece is finished, I ask myself “What was this meant to communicate to me?"
As my portraits unfolded and revealed themselves it became clear that my work is an exploration into the role Ojibwe traditional cultural practices and beliefs plays in shaping the way my family sees itself collectively, the role it takes in shaping the personal identities of my husband and my nine children, and the influences or effect it’s had on my own personal identity. As a white woman, the only non-native person in my immediate family, my work is about my reflections as an outsider and about the emotional rollercoaster I often ride as I stand fixed on the outside, but privileged enough to look in. This portrait series is not just about the pieces of Ojibwe culture I’ve been allowed to see, but also what it’s allowed me to see within myself, and even to recognize what cannot be found there.
I then applied to the Watermark Art Center in my home town of Bemidji in Northern Minnesota to show my work as the next step in this journey. I applied November of 2019 with the understanding that if accepted, it generally takes a year to get in there. They accepted my proposal immediately and asked me to exhibit January 10-MArch 28th of 2020. At that point I had only completed half of the eleven portraits I had proposed! Even under those circumstances, I had to say YES!, And so… I worked every spare minute…often sixteen hour days just to get them done. My portraits take a considerable about of time. The least amount of time I spent on one of them was around 200 hours. The small ones take three full days to sew.
From there, my self portrait received International recognition in December 2019. My portrait of my daughter Maddy received National recognition January 1st 2020. My show opened January 10th, 2020. Prior to the date of my opening, the only people who had ever seen my work, …the only people who knew I did this kind of thing, were a few of my close family member and friends, and the very private ceremonial community. February 2020, the portrait of my daughter Luella received International recognition, and the portrait of my son Evan received International recognition. In March 2020 the portrait of my daughter Maddy received recognition again but this time Internationally. I have received all of this national and international recognition without anyone from those organizations ever seeing my work in person.
And now my very first exhibit, in rural northern Minnesota has not even closed yet and my work is scheduled to travel to Venice, Italy for an exhibit for an International Art Fair.
I am so completely overwhelmed by the response to my work. The recognition and accolades have been unbelievable but what has been even more profound and astounding to me is the experience people are having when they engage with my portraits and what people are saying about my work. When I started I thought perhaps people would think that they were pretty or interesting. I did not for the life of me anticipate that anyone would refer to my art as spiritual, medicinal, healing, and haunting. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that people would see what I see or “feel” what I feel when I interact with them. Self proclaimed non-art people are feeling emotions in my work, and I’ve received literally hundreds of beautiful messages and emails from people who need to share with me their experiences and connections with my work, both my community members who’ve seen them in person and strangers from around the world who have not. I had to download a translation app so that I could understand all of the messages sent to me in languages I don’t understand. It’s been a very overwhelming experience for me emotionally and spiritually. I am just so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have this experience, to have these heart to heart conversations, which is exactly what they feel like to me. When you engage with my work, you see my heart. And when you share with me your experience with my exhibit…I see yours.
Redefining Success and Failure
I am definitely having a moment right now, and if you’re aware of my presence on social media then you’ve been with me on this journey and beared witness to the incredible success I’m having with my current body of art work. Throughout my life, I’ve used my social media platforms to celebrate the joy in my life…and only the joy. I LOVE that we are able to so easily share our joyful moments with each other in this way. I’m grateful for the ability to interact with you and watch your life unfold through Facebook and Instagram. But, as you are watching me have a successful moment, I want you to know that I’ve experienced an incredible amount of failure too. Most of which I’ve never shared publicly.
I’m greatly disappointed in the ways in which we tend to define success today and the comparisons we make to one another. I’m disappointed and struggle with the lenses we use to define success in our own lives and as we examine the lives of others. I know from the outside, at this present moment (according to social media) my life looks like a dream. And it is. Truly. I feel incredibly blessed. But before I arrived here, I had several bouts of failure. I have often felt incredibly insecure. I have often felt like its been a struggle to be taken seriously. And I’ve often felt lost or like I had no idea what I was doing. I don’t just mean as a career, I mean in everything. Parenting and being a wife, etc.
I was a stay at home mom. All too often when people asked me what I did for a living, when I would share that I was a stay at home mom, I was suddenly no longer interesting or intelligent. When I answered stay at home mom, the conversation would end. No follow up questions. And their replies to my questions would also immediately become really short and to the point, as if I wouldn’t understand what they were talking about or perhaps I wasn’t viewed as important so leaning into the conversation wasn’t important to them. I would describe myself as a support person…and it felt like few people cared. That’s just not interesting and it’s not generally viewed as success. We have created an environment where what you do “for money” defines who you are.
I gave up on a masters in special education, lacking the follow through and direction to complete it. I tried to sell Nerium as a side gig, I sold 0 product. None. Not one. I tried to sell books for another “work from home” company. Again, I sold 0 products. Not a single one. I opened an aerial arts studio, teaching circus arts to adults and children. I generally tell people that I closed this business because I couldn’t find balance between the business and my family life. That is 100% true. But what is also true is that I lost money with that business….every single month….for two years. I couldn’t sell the business, and had to liquidate all of my equipment at a fraction of it’s worth. Failure. But I don’t see that as just simply failure. I learned so much through that experience. And I gained so much through engaging with my community with that experience, and that felt like incredible success. And as a bonus, my kids watched me go out on a limb and have the balls to try something crazy. They saw it not work out. And they saw me recover from that, an incredibly important and empowering lesson to learn.
I still have not achieved financial success as defined by our culture. But all of these experiences have encouraged me to redefine success. I put myself out there through my art. I could have just as easily experienced a series of rejections and failures yet again, and that could easily be what my future holds, but this time…you supported me. I was vulnerable and you leaned into that. I’ve had so many beautiful and powerful interactions with people about what I’ve created and because of that, I am experiencing the “success” of a lifetime. It’s been so incredibly powerful and moving and meaningful that… I don’t need more than this. Connecting to my community this way has meant the world to me. Success. I’d like to encourage all of you to redefine success and failure. I’d like you to recognize that we all experience both of those things over and over again. That we need each other as support in both of those experiences. And most of all, I encourage you to lean in when you see someone being themselves, going out on a limb and putting themselves out there. Rally behind them. Show up for them. It’s scary and its hard to open yourself up like that. And if you find that you want to share of yourself, to follow your dream, to put yourself out there, I hope you’ll let me know so that I can show up for you. I want to be in your corner cheering you on.
My Portrait of my Daughter Luella just received International Recognition
Art Room Gallery Online International Exhibition Finalist
Awarded February 2020
The Portrait of my daughter Luella has recently received International Recognition as a finalist included in Art Room Gallery’s Online Open Exhibition. This means that three of the eleven portraits in my 2020 show have received awards or recognition, two Internationally and one nationally. I am in awe of all of this quite honestly. I’m self taught, I’m just beginning to find my way with this craft and the response to my work has been an absolutely wonderful surprise. I’m so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to do what I do and to share my work with so many people!
Art Room Gallery received entries from many countries around the world: USA, Germany, Canada, Australia, United Kingdom, France, Italy, Switzerland, Estonia, Singapore, Egypt, Israel, Finland and South Korea. The Open theme in this competition included a diversity in types, styles and mediums (oil on canvas, acrylic, photography, mixed media, collage, graphite, digital, watercolor, stone, cotton, metal print, alcohol ink, resin and fabric). The following evaluation criteria has been used for judging the artwork: creativity, interpretation of the theme, originality and quality of art, overall design, demonstration of artistic ability, and usage of medium. Jury decided to select 85 artworks for inclusion in the exhibition. Aside from First, Second, and Third place Jury also presented Merit awards and Honorable Mention awards
I love talking with Students!
I love talking with Students of all ages.
I was able to interact with several classes at the gallery Thursday January 30th. It was such a treat for me watching all of the kids interact with my work. I received so many wonderful comments, very inquisitive questions, and numerous hugs! They wanted to know how I create my portraits, what they mean to me, how long it takes me to make them etc. My favorite non-art related questions were “how do trees stay in the ground?” and “why do some trees still have leaves in winter?” And I was incredibly charmed when someone suggested that I should create art about hockey, and then shared with me that his teacher would send me a photo of his art project about hockey.
So Unexpected…
I googled myself to see if my website came up…it still doesn’t. I’m working on that. BUT THIS DID…press that I didn’t even know I had! OMG! This whole thing is blowing my mind. Seriously, Miigwech!
All Women Exhibition of 2020
All Women 2020
My portrait titled Maddy was awarded special recognition in Light Space Time’s competition for 2020, and therefore was included in this online exhibit
What an incredible honor to be apart of this exhibit and to be connected to… to expose myself to…and to learn about so many wonderful artists, and their craft. And to celebrate this language, this form of creative expression that we love so dearly.
Interview with Katie Carter
January 8th, 2020
“Sometimes guests get emotional while sharing about their art…they bare their souls as they discuss their art! It’s powerful to go there…But…I have never been brought to tears interviewing an artist…until Blair. And this interview gets me every time…what a privilege to be part of it. The world needs more Blairs in it. It just does.”
-Katie Carter
KAXE/KBXE Northern Community Radio
Katie Carter simply brought out the very best in me in this interview, and allowed me to be vulnerable and honest about what it is I’m saying with my work and what it means to me. I can’t thank her enough for that. I’m so blessed to have connected with her, to do this work, and to be able to share it with all of you. I never thought I’d be able to talk about my creations. I couldn’t conceive of how to conceptualize my experience with words. I really thought I’d never be able to do it. And that if I did, people just wouldn’t understand. Something magical happened in the recording studio that morning. I somehow managed to articulate with confidence, with words not only that I am on a journey but what it looks like, and what it feels like for me in an easily accessible way. I listen to this and I think, how did I do that? This interview has meant so much more to me than simply good publicity. It’s one of the best, if not the best conversation I’ve had about my art so far, as well as my lived experience my art celebrates. Thank you Katie…with absolute sincerity. And thank you to everyone who took the time to “tune in” to this experience with us.
Instillation January 2020
I can’t believe this is happening!
All of my portraits for my 2020 exhibition are now installed at The Watermark Art Center in Bemidji, Mn. The exhibit will run January -March.