2020
Fabric and Thread, 40”W x 31”H x 2”D
Fabric and Thread
40”H x 31”W
2020
A self portrait comprised of repurposed pieces of fabric, "I've Made Peace...with My Body" is an affirmation of the female form as a source of power. Using sewing, a medium typically seen as “women’s work”, the artist has reconstructed their self-image. Even though nude, this image is not a fetishization or erotic portrayal. Instead, we are greeted with a sitting figure, legs spread, leaning forward, and staring at us- a challenging pose typically reserved for the male form. Her body emerges from the darkness, a mass of swirling lines and subdued colors- symbolic of detrimental effects of the portrayal of women in media and society. This emergence symbolizes her acceptance of herself and the rejection of female body “norms” and expectations. She occupies the space completely, assuming a sense of power, and is accompanied by a bird- a symbol of nature, the natural, and the delicate. It is in this moment that we realize this self-acceptance is a delicate thing, long fought for, and needing to be nurtured.
Written by Incu Arts
Artist’s Statement
It’s taken nearly 40 years but I’ve finally made peace with my body.
I am barely 5’4”, my measurements are …33” 28” 35” and I currently weigh 129 pounds. I’m telling you this because people ask me for my stats. Both men and women ask me for these numbers. I don’t mind the inquiry, bodies are interesting. I do mind the value placed on these numbers. I am basically shaped like a rectangle. No boobs, no waist, no hips, no feminine curve. At some point in my life, I’m not even sure when to be honest, this began to matter to me. I allowed room for lots of insecurities about my body to breed. Realizing I had little control over the size of my hips or my breasts, I began to put a lot of effort into controlling the size of my waist in an attempt to have a feminine body.
I portrayed a rodeo star in a play with my local theater. The set onstage required a poster of me without out a shirt on, showing my full back exposed as an ad selling jeans. There were conversations about photo shopping my muscles smaller because I was suppose to be a sex symbol and my body wasn’t sexy. I don’t know at what point in my adult life being sexy mattered, but it began to matter to me.
I eventually fell in love with my muscles and I use food and exercise to nourish and strengthen my relationship with my body instead of to combat it. I love physically using my body so much that I now have aspirations to compete in amateur body building. Most people who know this are not very supportive and I have repeatedly been told with great concern not to do it, and warned not to allow myself to get “gross” with the size of my muscles. And I’ve been asked lots of questions about why in the world I would want to “hulk out” as a woman.
My insecurities about my body, about the sexiness or lack there of in the shape and look of my body killed my libido, and nearly destroyed my sex life.
I don’t know how I got here, to this self destructive place. All through high school and college “sexy” was not an aspiration as I rocked a green mohawk, extra baggy clothes and combat boots. I wore my “I don’t give a F**K about what you think I should look like” like a badge of honor. I don’t know how I got here! While I was thinking about my saggy stomach skin from having babies, stretch marks and how small my size A boobs were etc,… You wanna know what my husband was thinking when I took my clothes off? “OMG she wants me!” So I was playing this mind game all by myself. I repeat…I don’t know how I got here, to this self destructive place. And I find that very concerning.
I’ve finally made peace wth my body, and so I’ve decided to redefine sexy for myself. I celebrate my body now at almost 40 years old. I wear crop tops, and fitted skirts. I embrace my own brand of sexuality. And now…. I’ve been told that I’m cheapening myself. That wearing revealing clothes is beneath me. That I’m diminishing myself and my respectability, my self worth to “get attention”. To all of the “progressive” women in my life still telling me what I should and shouldn’t do regarding my own body, why haven’t we moved beyond this.
I guess the question I’m raising is…why do we make it so hard to make peace with our bodies and how do I prevent my daughters from creating negative narratives about their own bodies when I don’t even understand how I became so vulnerable?
Exhibitions
September 1-4. 2022 “Boom” Focus Art Fair Invitational, Carrousel du Louvre, Paris France
March 30 - April 30, 2022 ”Rebellion” Invitational @ Gallery Azur, Madrid, Spain
Nov. 12- 30, 2021 “Xposed, Naked and Not Afraid” Knox Contemporary, Calgary Alberta, Canada
March 16 -May 1, 2021 “She/Her They/Them” International Exhibition, IncuArts.com
Sept. 10 - 12th, 2021 Invitational Exhibition,“International Contemporary Art Fair: Art3 Paris Expo Paris, France